Thegeeknotes.com

Geeky One Liners

1. “The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.”
2. “If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0″
3. “Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn’t leave something that can be traced back to you.”
4. “The great thing about Object Oriented code is that it can make small, simple problems look like large, complex ones.”
5. “Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code.”
6. “The term reboot comes from the middle age (before computers). Horses who stopped in mid-stride required a boot to the rear to start again. Thus the term to rear-boot, later abbreviated into reboot.”
7. “The nice thing about standards is that there are so many to choose from.”
8. “I had a fortune cookie the other day and it said: ‘Outlook not so good’. I said: ‘Sure, but Microsoft ships it anyway’.”
9. “It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa.”
10. “If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.”
11. “There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those that understand trinary, those that don’t, and those that confuse it with binary.”
12. “Real men don’t use backups, they post their stuff on a public ftp server and let the rest of the world make copies.”  – Linus Torvalds
13. “Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver error.”
14. While i clicked my favorite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour,
15. “Computer are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open windows.”
16. “The box said ‘Required Windows 95 or better’. So, I installed LINUX.”
17. “It’s a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages.”
18. “The only problem with troubleshooting is that sometimes trouble shoots back.”
19. “Evolution is God’s way of issuing upgrades.”
20. “Difference between a virus and windows ? Viruses rarely fail.”
21. “Be nice to geeks when you’re in school, you might end-up working for one when you grow-up.”
22. “Geek’s favorite pickup line: Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform? “
23. “Windows isn’t a virus, viruses do something.”
24. “Better to be a geek than an idiot.”
25. “My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.”
26. “A Windows user spends 1/3 of his life sleeping, 1/3 working, 1/3 waiting.”
27. “I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code”
28. “To go forward, you must backup.”
29. “1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d”
30. “A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila”
31. “The best accelerator available for a Mac is one that causes it to go at 9.81 m/s2.”
32. “A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light”
33. “I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly”
34. “Windows95: It’s like upgrading from Reagan to Bush.
35. “SUPERCOMPUTER: what it sounded like before you bought it.”
36. “Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Computers are from hell.”
37. “Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. NO is the answer.”   - Erik Naggum
38. Microsoft: “You’ve got questions. We’ve got dancing paperclips.”
39. “640K ought to be enough for anybody.” – This is not humorous by itself; but in the context it’s a classic by Bill Gates in 1981
40. “There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.”
41. “Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.” — Michael Sinz
42. “COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods.”
43. “Unix is user-friendly. It’s just very selective about who its friends are.”
44. “Life would be so much easier if we only had the source code.”
45. “If brute force doesn’t solve your problems, then you aren’t using enough.”
46. “After Perl everything else is just assembly language.”
47. “To err is human… to really foul up requires the root password.”
48. “The more I C, the less I see.”
49. “If Python is executable pseudocode, then perl is executable line noise.”
50. “unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep”  – my daily unix command list
51. “Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there’s Google.”